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  November 9, 2026—Exhibitionist ammosexual Lauren Boebert, R-Boones Farm, defeated for reelection in her R+18 district. Boebert held admirable stances on release of the Epstein files and restraining corporate and government surveillance. In her three terms she failed to author a single bill that made it out of committee. Instead she advocated for the AR-15, III Percenters, Proud Boys, January 6 insurrectionists, QAnon, padded expense reports, kickbacks, teen pregnancy, STDs, and cancer.

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  November 6, 2026—White House “Ice Maiden” and Chief of Staff Susie Wiles resigns to spend more time with her remaining sanity. Two weeks ago her boss dismissed rumors of this as “fake news.” Wiles will receive a sinecure in Trump’s political organization to keep her from writing a book. She is replaced by proto-satanic homunculus Stephen Miller, who will preside over the remaining destruction of the presidency.

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  November 6, 2026—Florida State Assembly member “MAGA Meg” Weinberger loses her reelection bid for her seat in House District 94. Weinberger’s capstone achievement was sponsoring legislation to rename the Palm Beach Airport after the sitting and allegedly living President, a move opposed by 90% of her constituents. She lost to the candidate with the worst possible name Elizabeth Holmes, who was financed at less than a tenth of Weinberger’s treasury yet edged her 50.3% to 47.9%.